Last year some Canadians released a feature length film based upon the internet meme Slenderman, and mixed it with the legend of the Wendigo.
The POV Pseudo-Doc is based around a group of Filmmakers who head into the town of Bonville to shoot a documentary about deforestation, what they find on the other hand…well I’m not too sure. In fact, I don’t think anyone is really sure because they don’t really ever explain what the hell is going on.
Long story short: The kids start to shoot the movie, Brandon’s (the man character) Uncle Steve (who mysteriously wears Crocs while digging holes in the forest), tells them not to film too much but never explains why. The cast of the film are self-righteous divas who you want to see get impaled with a hot poker through the anus (which I’m assuming is the point), and who offer nothing of value to the story or even the progression of the plot. When one of the actresses goes missing, the crew head out to find her, and that is when…nothing happens for a subsequent 40 minutes. This was preceded by nothing happening for the first 42 minutes of the film where we see nothing about Slenderman (given that he is the titular piece behind the movie). Eventually, Brandon is hunted by his uncle, and other townsfolk who are all wearing nylon’s over their faces and acting like Zombies. All while being “controlled” by the mythical Slenderman, who makes a grand total of 4 appearances in the flick.
The finale is interesting in the sense that they kids found ways to use guns, light fires, beat up their friends, and even throw them from a moving vehicle. All of this would have been cool, had there been substance behind the scenes. Had the filmmakers actually written a story where they learned of the origin of the creature, or perhaps what exactly was going on in Bonville, we might have cared more about the finale itself.
What we got was a movie that tried too hard to be Marble Hornets, and ends up being a 93 minute long mess of a film with no likable characters (with the exception of Steve, he’s so funny when he calls everyone “cocksuckers”), over the top acting, agonizingly long scenes with no action or dialog…and the placement of Budweiser bottles (without Budweiser’s permission).
I give these kids credit for putting together a feature film around an internet meme and connecting it to a Canadian urban legend. Plus there were some redeeming factors of the film. The finale, while making very little sense, was packed with action and violence. The fight between the director and Brandon in the back of the truck was pretty cool (as well as Brandon being chucked from said vehicle). But the best part of the movie was all the Canadian’s trying to be intimidating. I had to force back laughter every time one of them puffed out their chest and tried to argue. Their accents were delightful and hilarious to listen to.
The movie wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t great. This is a one time watch for me. I would like to see Vince Emmerson come back with a new film (in the same style), that is his own (and not ripping from another piece of pop-internet-culture). With practice comes perfection, and he’s on his way. I look forward to seeing his next endeavor.